She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
