I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
