never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He kissed a someone with a penis
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
