i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
