dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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