everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
