I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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