sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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