vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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