so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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