I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
