Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
