This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize