So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
