that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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