We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
