Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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