dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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