Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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