Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
