No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
