watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize