I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
