with your own penis?
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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