I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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