I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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