he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
