i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
