This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
