So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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