ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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