so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
