I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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