Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
