I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Help. Why am I so naked?
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