My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
