Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
