I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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