I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
