Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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