Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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