Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
She has the best kind of daddy issues
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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