Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
