I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
