I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
