After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
