I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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