his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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