So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
