i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My bed is full of blood and feathers
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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