Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
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