I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
