So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
