Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
