my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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