Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Everclear isn't food dammit
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
