you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
