My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
