There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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