she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
don't judge my taste in strippers
did you just send me my own nude
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize