Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I would ride that face into the sunset
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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