halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
