He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
