Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
