I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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