my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
